From Which Country Are We Adopting?

As I mentioned in my previous post, it was important for us to identify a country and an agency almost simultaneously. The two go hand in hand like Peanut Butter & Nutella or Peanut Butter & Ice Cream or Peanut Butter and Chocolate (Yes, I like Peanut Butter). You can eat them by themselves, but they taste so much better with their companion. On the adoption journey, you don’t want to walk too far ahead once you have chosen a country or agency. 

Each country has qualifications that are specific to that country.      Your level of income may not be enough for some countries. With other countries you might have too big of a family. For other countries you must be married for a certain number of years. I recommend that you identify a few countries to adopt from before deciding on a country. 

We went through a 3-4 week process of identifying our country. During this time, we kept a list of 2-3 countries that we were interested in adopting from. We then identified and interviewed agencies that worked in those countries. We went through 3-4 countries before making our final decision.

Ultimately, we chose to adopt from Costa Rica while choosing to go through Lifeline. As with the other countries, we were cautiously optimistic as we waited to hear back from our initial application to ensure that we met the requirements. 

We chose Costa Rica for several reasons… 

1. We discovered that we were drawn to a Latin America country. 
2. PANI (Child Welfare Agency) takes great care of vulnerable children.
3. It was on the quicker side of the 18-36 month adoption process.
4. They take the attachment and bonding process very seriously.
5. They work quickly with families if they are a match for "waiting children."

So now what? We are currently ready to begin our home study process. Since Lifeline is not licensed in the state of Indiana, we must choose a Hague Accredited (more on this in a future post) agency to process our home study. Based upon great referrals we chose to go with Gateway Woods.  

Our Adoption Journey Process

Now that we had said yes to adoption I was ready to jump in and get the process started. Heck, I was ready to bring our son or daughter home the next day. Little did we know that it would take a few months to narrow down the country we were to adopt from and the agency that we would go through to facilitate our adoption. So what steps did we take to begin our adoption journey? Everyone’s adoption journey is a little different, but here is what we did...

Step 1: Go to Loving Shepherd Ministry website and fill out an application. LSM is not an adoption agency, however, they will help you get started. After you fill out the application, they will send you a packet of information based upon your age, income, family size, and if you desire a domestic, foster care, or international adoption. Many people do not realize that each country has requirements that families must meet in order to adopt. It is critical that you identify those requirements before you select your country. Otherwise you are setting yourself up for disappointment. 

From the information you will receive you can begin to get an idea of which countries you are eligible to adopt from as well as a list of agencies who are experts from those countries. While this is not an exhaustive list, it is a very helpful one. 

Step 2: Attend conferences! There are actually several conferences for families who are considering adoption. Those that we attended were Together for Adoption (T4A), CAFO Summit, and, one that I organized at County Line Church, the Adoption Journey Conference. The first two conferences are held each year and at different location around the country. The Adoption Journey Conference is held in the spring at County Line Church of God. 

These conferences are invaluable resources as you can speak directly with agencies, check references, talk with families who have been through the process, purchase material, listen to experts, etc. There are other conferences as well, but these are the three we attended.

Step 3: Choose your country and agency. This has to happen almost simultaneously which makes this step a critical one. For example, we had our choices narrowed down to the foster care system and Haiti. So we began contacting agencies who worked with the foster care system and Haiti. However, we learned that Haiti just became Hague accredited, so that was going to slow the process down big time. Prayerfully, we no longer made Haiti an option, however we were not entirely sure about the foster care system as well. 

Inevitably, at the CAFO Summit conference in Chicago, we “ran” into Lifeline representatives in a breakout session. As they began to tell us about their agency and the countries they worked within, we knew the direction that we were headed. 

Step 4: Apply with an agency. From here on out, your steps will be directed by your agency. Here are the steps that we are following through an inter national adoption. We are told it will take about 18-24 months. 

• Fill out an agency application which should be accompanied by a payment. 
• Sign a contract that includes your first installment. (Most adoption will cost you between $20,000-40,000.)
• Conduct a home study to satisfy the U.S. and simultaneously apply with immigration. 
• Fill out a dossier that is your application to the desired country.
• Wait for a reference. This is when they match you with a child or children. 
• Travel to your country to meet your child or children and make court appearance. 
• Stay in country for 5-7 weeks until you can leave with your new family members!

So there you have it. A brief overview of our adoption process. So which country did we choose to adopt from? I will share that in my next post:) 

153 Million Reasons Why We Are Adopting.

153 million… that's a large number. The longer you stare at it the more daunting it becomes, especially when it represents children who cannot advocate for themselves. 

153 million… in a single file line these children could circle the 11,000 mile perimeter of the USA eight times. Or, circle the earth four times. 

153 million children would fill the Notre Dame Football stadium 1900 times.

153 million children would fill the 50 largest cities of the USA… beginning with #1 New York City to #50 Wichita, Kansas… + …the countries of Haiti, Ireland, Nicaragua, Norway, Denmark, Costa Rica, Greece and France.

153 million… is the number of orphans in the world today. That means there are 153 million children who are growing up without a mom and dad. Can you begin to imagine what life would be like absent of your parents or family? To have all of your security, identify, and purpose erased from your life. Imagine with me what would it be like to grow up in an institution raised by workers doing their job. For many of these children, everyday is a fight for survival over basic things such as food, clothes, love, and security. 

"Do for one what you wish you could do for all.” I am not sure when I first heard this statement. I have heard it many times and in various settings. It has become my answer for why we are adopting. We have been blessed with three great biological children. Adoption was never a part of the plan. The plan was to raise our biological children and then do all the things that we could never do with kids at home. You know those things like buy a motorcycle, travel the world, and hike the Appalachian Trail! Empty Nesters? In our mid-40’s? Bring it on!! Until...

“Do for one…” I suppose adoption was inevitable as I worked more and more in the area of orphan care. As I opened the door for our congregation to be exposed to the global orphan crisis, my heart was warming up to the idea. If these other families could do it, then why couldn’t we? Soon, the excuses of finances and my dreams of the empty nest life sounded selfish down right convicting. 

As much as I want it to be life just isn't fair. Don’t believe me? Ask one of the 153 million orphans if life is fair. No where are we promised fairness. Fairness is a lie that we want to believe. So, is it fair for me to enjoy my middle American lifestyle? I can come up with many excuses as to why it’s fair, but they don’t have a leg to stand on. When it comes down to it, we are lucky and blessed to be born in a country of abundance and freedom. I did not ask to be born here. I did nothing to deserve it. It just was and is. I choose to believe that God placed me, us, here for a reason. Not to ride motorcycles, tour other countries, and hike trails. (Those are side benefits of living here, but not the main reason.) I believe God placed our family in this place and at this time to do for one what we wish we could do for 153 million.