Learning To Let Go

At some point every leader comes face to face with the reality that it is time to let go. The "letting go" may not be forever and it may only be a portion. Nevertheless there is a definitive moment when a leader must let go. In that moment they have two decisions - give it away with confidence or with hesitance. In the moment of decision-making the leader is  faced with the reality of how well they managed their leadership responsibilities. The "letting go" could be someone who they have mentored, or a project they oversaw. It could be a firstborn heading off to college, or that first overnighter. 

This past weekend I had the privilege of letting my son "go" when he earned his driver's license. For the past ten months we have been working towards this moment. We have been practicing on the country roads, in town, and attempted to parallel park several times over. I even started him off driving a stick shift! We discussed the responsibilities and privileges that come with driving. Together we worked, talked, and practiced so that when the time came, we both had confidence that he would be ready for this milestone. 

As a dad, I have every right to not "let go." I could come up with many reasons as to why he shouldn't drive, or drive with restrictions. However, there is no reason for that because we have been planning for this exact moment and I have all the confidence in the world that he going to be fine. His mother, well, that's a different story!

To be honest, it is not always as easy for me as the example I shared above. There are other areas in my life where I need to learn to "let go." Leaders want to be in control and fear what will happen when (not if) they lose that control. Anyone leading a family or organization creates an unhealthy culture when they lead from fear and control. Preparation is were we begin. As leaders, it is our responsibility to see the road ahead and identify the moments in which we will have to "let go", including position of leadership! How prepared are you to "let go?"

All In!

Leadership is hard. Every decision a leader makes can either help or hurt the organization. Each decision carries significant weight  and the outcomes can carry positive or negative results that can either stall, trip up, or move the organization down the field. There are no insignificant issues or decisions as every consequence, good or bad, has meaning.

A leader who is "all in" must have a sense of calling and purpose. While some leaders cannot specifically articulate why they sacrifice so much for the organization, it is definitely there. These types of leaders are willing to give up on, or let go of, those little issues that are frivolous and don't help the organization. They have the ability to stay the course especially in the midst of adversity. 

I had the opportunity to be with some leaders who are "all in" when I visited Village of Hope in Guatemala last month. The Blocks and Uchereks have sacrificed so much in order to provide faith, family, and a future to special needs and HIV children. I encourage you to check out the links below and follow these families and their ministry. How "all in" are you? 

Village of Hope Facebook

Lifesong Guatemala (Parent Organization)

Block Family

Ucherek Family

Break It Down!

In the past month I have had the privilege to meet with some pretty cool people. One was a young gentlemen who left for Kenya, with his wife and young daughter. They are taking a 1 year assignment to assist a church. Another meeting was with two families who are currently serving in Guatemala and working diligently to start an orphanage. As I met, listened, and conversed it was evident that in both instances there was a lot of anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed with the enormity of the tasks at hand. 

They had every right to feel this way. For the young couple in Kenya they had never served on a pastoral staff prior to this trip and neither has done any kind of leadership development work. The families in Guatemala have never started an orphanage and only one of them has experience working in an orphanage for 9 months. (For the record, I am a firm believer that lack of experience DOES NOT disqualify a person from an opportunity. If that was the case I would not be where I am today.)

Changes in life, while exciting, will bring anxiety, tension, and stress. Furthermore, a lack of knowledge within the field we are entering will place a sense of fear in us that causes doubts and removes confidence in ourselves. So what advice did I give? It is critical that they breakdown the projects and goals, don't get caught up in the big picture, and to focus on a few pieces rather than the whole.

The first step is to have a clear understanding of realistic expectations from those in authority. We will typically place higher expectations on ourselves than what our bosses will place on us. Likewise, we tend to look at the big picture and try to imagine how we are going to fit or fix everything at once. 

Secondly, we must identify a time frame to accomplish our tasks. Do we have a few months? A year? Once we have established a time frame then we can start working backwards and we can identify how many projects/goals can we realistically accomplish within the designated period of time?

Third, keep your focus on two or three projects, depending on the nature of your work, in which you will have a great sense of accomplishment when you are done. The trick here, especially if you have been on the job for a while, is to keep these goals in line with what you are already doing. Don't try and go outside your job responsibilities. Doing this will only slow you down. 

Lastly, perform a weekly review to stay on top of the progress you are making towards your goals and, if necessary, adjust. Typically, we set an unrealistic timeframe to complete our projects. The more you do this the better you will get at it. This is especially true when we involve others. Many times a third party will slow your project down. It's ok. Adjust for current project and realize this fact when planning for the following year. 

The end of each August marks the end of the ministry season for our staff. We will spend the last Monday of that month in a full day staff retreat. During this retreat we will review our goals from the previous year and share our goals for the next 12 months. Following the steps above has helped me to identify 3 goals to accomplish in the next 12 months. Give them and try and tweak them to fit you!

Don't Forget the People!

There are a ton of studies out there that help us to understand more about ourselves. There is DISC, Myers-Briggs, Strengthfinders, a multitude of personality assessments, EQ assessments, and more. I am a sucker for these assessments as I am curious as to how I will test. Likewise, I love the idea of finding something out about myself that I could not previously articulate. These tests have helped to identify where I am strong as well as areas that need improvement. They communicate how I work under pressure and how I am viewed by others when under stress. These assessments are great when done with a team or family as they can show the greatest potential in working together. 

Early on I always thought of myself as being people oriented rather than task oriented. I thought of myself as someone who cares about people, looks for opportunities to connect, and has their best interest in mind. Besides, shouldn't a pastor be people focused? However, I have come to accept the fact that I have a natural tendency to be more task oriented as I have taken these assessments, made general observations, and evaluated myself. I love hanging out, helping, and connecting people to what God is doing in our communities and around the world. However, I can get drained when I do not balance my "people" time with "alone" time. I receive my energy when I am locked away in my office with a white board to process, plan, and organize my tasks and responsibilities. I am re-energized when I am driving in my car by myself or going for a run. I need that time and space to reflect, process, and think through various issues. 

Since I have a natural bent towards tasks consequently a natural byproduct can be alienating those working with me. I will average 5-7 meetings during the course of a week. These meetings are with individuals and ministry teams who I am working with or meeting for the first time. I don't necessarily like to have this many meetings each week, but it is important that I am meeting with people, updating my teams, and receiving input on projects. I have a natural tendency to move forward on projects without talking through with a team or not informing them of what we are doing. I also tend to take on tasks rather than delegate or share the responsibility and the project will take much longer to complete. Ultimately, the worse thing that can happen is that people's feelings can become hurt. Hurt feeling can happen on many different levels and can manifest in a variety of ways.

People do not forget when their feelings have been hurt. They may forgive, but not forget. They may decide to work with you again, but they will leave their guard up and not feel free to fully give themselves to the project or share their opinions and ideas. Regardless, if you are naturally bent towards task or people, don't forget its the people who drive the tasks and complete the projects. I encourage you to identify which side of the line you are on and understand the positives and negatives. 

A 6 Month Overview

Note: I realize that this type of exercise can be limited too specific job responsibilities. However, I would encourage anyone to spend some time looking ahead. Whether it is to overview a week, month, quarter, etc. This can be a valuable exercise that helps you to identify your upcoming season and to stay on top of your deadlines!

I am a little late with this exercise, but late is always better than never. Twice a year a get out the whiteboard and begin looking out over the horizon of the next 6 months and to anticipate what projects, deadlines, and events are coming up that I need to plan. On the flip side, if there are any gaps then I can insert projects that have been sitting on the back burner. Typically, I will look at January through June in the month of December and July through December in the month of June. However, because of time out of the office this summer I was not able to look at the next 6 months  until this week. (And I thought summer was going to be a "catch-up" season!) 

Here is a walk through of what I do:

1. Create 6 columns (one for each month).
2. Under each month I write down a date and the activity or meeting I have scheduled. When I have exhausted all of my scheduled events, meetings, and deadlines for each month I will then draw a line at the last entry. 
3. Under this line I will then write down what Action Steps or projects I need to accomplish during that month. These action steps will correspond with all events, meeting, or deadlines for the current and future months. (Read my post on tackling projects.)
1. When writing down these action steps I keep 3 things in mind:
1. What prep work and/or follow up needs to happen with each activity in the corresponding month.
2. What prep work needs to take place for the next month(s).
3. What seasonal projects should I be working on or allow for? We have annual events and defined seasons that help me breakdown projects and plan for events.
4. I then draw another line under the action steps. In the space left I will identify how many weeks I have in each month and assign up to 3 action steps per week. I make these a priority each week.
5. Next, I input this information into Smartytask which organizes my action steps by context and deadlines. Smartytask is the platform I use for my "to-do" list and project organization. (I wrote a post about this as well.)

This six month overview helps me to take a step back and grasp what is coming at me over the next "season." It helps me to keep my head up and see what is all around me (see my previous post). This simple exercise, if done properly and not rushed, almost always eliminates any surprises and will give me enough time to make sure I am meeting my deadlines and moving my projects "down the field!"

Keep Your Head Up! (A leadership principle on the trails of Pictured Rocks)

I recently took a backpacking trip with six other people through the beautiful Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore. I had been looking forward to this trip for many months as it was my first backpacking expedition. Our schedule was not difficult as we planned to only hike about 2-3 miles per day to each campsite. You may not think that is a very long hike, but with 25 pound packs and medium terrain it was enough for us first timers. Our hikes between campsites would take approximately 2.5 hours as we made frequent stops for water, food, or just to take in the view. Most of the time our trail would take us along the 200 foot cliffs which provided lots of photos ops. (These pictures were taken on my wife's iphone.) I had no idea that the midwest offered this type of landscape!

Although this was my first backpacking trip, it was not my first visit to Pictured Rocks. In fact this was my third trip to this park within a 6 week time period. Suffice it to say I knew the area, but I still didn't want to miss anything as each trail we hiked offered a different landscape and terrain. As we would hike the trails I would frequently find myself looking down at my feet. Subconsciously, I was checking to make sure there was nothing to trip over on the path. I had to make a conscious effort to keep my head up. Shortly after I would catch myself within a few minutes I would be looking down again as I focused on the rocks, sticks, or roots that came up out of the ground. Again, I had to remind myself to hike with my head up so I could see what was around me!

Of course I didn't want to trip over anything so an occasional glance down would be ok. However, if I always kept my head down on the path I would lose sight of where I was walking. As I reflected more on this I thought that it was a good leadership principle as well. As a leader, I tend to focus on the little things that are right in front of me. I keep my "head down" and focus on the little things that are of no real significance. All the while I am missing the grander picture of where I am going, identify how to get there, and to enjoy being with the people on the journey with me. I have a propensity to get hung up and distracted with the phone calls, emails, and other such tasks that do not help in moving the ball down the field. Yes, I need to do these steps, but they should not drive my agenda or schedule. 

As leaders, it is important that we see what is going on all around us and not stay focused on what is only in front of us. I will be writing some future posts on topics that have helped me to "keep my head up." Fortunately, as we hiked out of the park I realized that I was no longer looking down. By catching and correcting myself I was able to change my subconscious. I was no longer drawn to look at the little things on the path.

Own Your Education

I'm sure you have heard the same story a million times over. The one about how someone was a terrible student until they figured out what they wanted to do in life and eventually became a model student. When we can identify something we are interested in doing and want to pursue it as a career, we own our education. We want to read every boook and take every class that is offered on the topoc. It's like a light bulb clicked on or the sun, moon, stars, and all the planets came into alignment. It is hard to fathom that we will actually get paid to do this. This is my story as well. However, it seems that after we graduate, begin our career, start a family, etc. our passion begins to wane. What once peaked our interest us has now become all too familiar. What used to excite us has now become a routine. Unfortunately, we stop learning and growing. We know longer create or imagine. We stop dreaming about the difference we are going to make in our workplace, community, and world. Life becomes mundane. 

Learning is a discipline that we must continue to pursue and fight to keep. Growing in our knowledge and understandings on subjects of interest can be life changing. In my experience, life can be a drag when I am not stretching myself. Life can be unfulfilled when I am stuck in a routine of work, dinner, television, and sleep. However, what I have found out about myself is this: if I don't own my education, then I won't learn anything. In other words, if I am forced to read a book or learn about a subject, I will go through the motions and jump through the hoops to meet the requirements. But, if I take the initiative to own what I am learning and apply it to my life, then I find myself fully engrossed in the subject.

Recently, I came across a book (click here for my book review) that has me on a journey of stretching myself as I discern my belief system and how it forces me to think and live out my life. In a way, it has brought to life some of my senses that have laid dormant for some time. After I am finished with this book I will be making further investigation into the claims the author is making. What really stinks is that I am supposed to be reading some other books at this time as I seek ordination through our church's denomination. There are some good books that I am required to read, but not really on the topics I prefer. Again, I am not owning my education in that regards. Maybe its the left over residue from taking 10 years to finish my bachelor and associate degrees and I am tired of being told what to read! Oh well, I guess that is why I read more than one book at a time!!