Orphan Care

My wife and I went to an adoption conference a few weeks ago as I wanted to investigate what an Orphan Care Ministry could look like at County Line Church. This was my first time at such a conference, so I really didn't know what to expect. However, I came away with some information and ideas that I think can help the local church in caring for orphans. Here are some of the things I learned:

• There are 153 million orphans in the world. 
• Approximately 17 million are "double" orphans as both parents are deceased. 
• About the same number, 17 million, are adoptable for a variety of reasons. 
• Several other factors such as HIV/Aids, human trafficking, and poverty are all causes that separate parents from their children.
• Adoption is only one of the answers to ending the the orphan crisis.
• There are many agencies that can provide information and help parents discern if and how they can adopt. Loving Shepherd Ministries is a great organization that will help families get started in the right direction. 
• Foster Care and preventative programs, such as Safe Families, are other avenues besides adoption.
• The local church can serve in many ways, either directly or indirectly.
• • They can start an Adoption Fund with Lifesong for Orphans. 
  • Raise awareness through Orphan Sunday and other events. 
  • Partner with an orphanage such as Village of Hope in Guatemala or New Hope Uganda.
  • Host an Adoption/Orphan Care Conference.
  • Collect and study resources such as Stuck, Orphan Justice, The Global Orphan Crisis, and Giving Wisely.

For the first time ever, County Line Church will be conducting an Orphan Care Sunday. This is a first step towards becoming engaged and creating an Orphan Care Ministry. We will be highlighting families within the church who have been impacted by adoption, providing resources from local agencies, opportunities to sponsor a child from New Hope Uganda, and providing a Beans & Rice Meal to raise awareness for Village of Hope Guatemala. 

County Line Church is committed to be engaged in the fight against children becoming orphans. It can seem like a daunting task, however we can't just sit on the sidelines and allow this to continue. We must become informed, engage in something, and work together. 

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.  

James 1:27 

What defines you?

Why is it that we allow our jobs or occupation define who we are? Don't believe me? Why is it that one of our first questions when meeting a stranger is, "What do you do for a living?" Or, "Where do you work?" When our occupation has been addressed then the conversation picks up as you talk about your responsibilities at work, the stresses of the job, and how much you enjoy your boss! 

What would happen if you were not allowed to talk about your occupation when describing who you are or what you do? Or, what if you didn't have a job? What would you talk about? How would you describe yourself to a stranger? So much of our self worth and definition of who we are stems from what we do for a living. What would happen if we found our self worth not based upon what we do, but who we are? 

How would you describe you? How would you define yourself to others? What are your skills, talents, and abilities outside of your work context? From this type of exercise you can then begin to compare who you are with what you do. Do your personal descriptions match your job description? If not, then you are probably struggling with your job. Maybe you are not in a situation where you can find a job that resonates with who you are. If that is the case then I encourage you to find areas to volunteer or start a hobby that connects who you are with what you love to do!

Begin by writing down one word descriptions of yourself. You will be amazed at how quickly your list will grow. As an example, here is a short list of what I came up with of myself: strategy, network, collaborate, research, read, learn, analyze, clarify complex issues. My list is currently up to seventeen and I have now started listing out what I am not good at doing, or what I don't like to do. Try it and see what you come up with!

Hey Jack! How was your day?

Unexpectedly, I caught the bug. I tried to stay away. I wanted to turn the channel, but I was intrigued. Are these guys for real? Does the uncle really act that way? Are those beards real? What finally put me "all in" with this Duck Dynasty craze was how each show ended.

As much as a family gathered around a table, paints themselves as "a picture perfect family," we know the Robertson family is anything but perfect. However, that is not the point they are trying to communicate. It has more to do with getting along despite differences and conflict. Every show ends with Phil, the dad, giving a blessing for the food. They all dig-in for Aunt Kay's, the mom, delicious meal. As the camera scans around the table, we see family and friends laughing, eating, and making gestures about something someone did.  Then we hear Willie, CEO of Duck Dynasty, talk about a principle the family learned from that episode. Yes, I know the show is scripted. I am not entirely sure if they script each show around the principle, or vice versa. Regardless, this is a great exercise for leaders!

For the last few months, I have attempted to summarize or describe what happened during the course of my day. It doesn't read anything like what I hear at the end of a Duck Dynasty episode, but it does give me time to stop and reflect on what happened. Maybe it was a conversation that took place with my daughters about school. Sometimes it was a milestone that was achieved, such as when my son received his driver's license. Or, it could be a thought I had that day. Regardless, it gives me an opportunity to reflect and write.

Admittedly, I don't do this every evening as sometimes I am too tired, or I think that nothing important happened. However, when I force myself to pause and reflect on the day something always sticks out. The other thing I try to do is keep my writing short. Most of my entries are a few sentences or even in bullet point form. Why is this a great leadership exercise? Here are a few benefits that I have seen so far.

• I can remember what has transpired in the last few months.  
• I can learn from my past mistakes. 
• I can better determine a theme taking shape in my life.
• I can objectively look at myself and the lens in which I look through.
• I can learn how I react to life and people.
• I can learn how to be a better husband, dad, and co-worker. 

Realizing what I already know about myself, I knew that I would have to plant a few things to make sure I stayed on top of this daily exercise. Here is how I have set this up.

1. I created a daily reminder on my phone. It is amazing how often I would have forgotten. 
2. I set the alarm for 10:00PM. This is around the time I'm getting ready for bed, but still cognizant to think through the day's activities.
3. I downloaded an application on my phone and ipad called vJournal. I knew that I would be less likely to handwrite these notes. It takes me less time to get out my phone or ipad and type or text my thoughts. This application also allows me to upload pictures which I can use to communicate something that happened that day. 
4. The vJournal application is directly linked to my Evernote account. This means all of my notes are digitally saved by date. I can easily access my entries to review, add tags, edit thoughts, etc. 

Learning To Let Go

At some point every leader comes face to face with the reality that it is time to let go. The "letting go" may not be forever and it may only be a portion. Nevertheless there is a definitive moment when a leader must let go. In that moment they have two decisions - give it away with confidence or with hesitance. In the moment of decision-making the leader is  faced with the reality of how well they managed their leadership responsibilities. The "letting go" could be someone who they have mentored, or a project they oversaw. It could be a firstborn heading off to college, or that first overnighter. 

This past weekend I had the privilege of letting my son "go" when he earned his driver's license. For the past ten months we have been working towards this moment. We have been practicing on the country roads, in town, and attempted to parallel park several times over. I even started him off driving a stick shift! We discussed the responsibilities and privileges that come with driving. Together we worked, talked, and practiced so that when the time came, we both had confidence that he would be ready for this milestone. 

As a dad, I have every right to not "let go." I could come up with many reasons as to why he shouldn't drive, or drive with restrictions. However, there is no reason for that because we have been planning for this exact moment and I have all the confidence in the world that he going to be fine. His mother, well, that's a different story!

To be honest, it is not always as easy for me as the example I shared above. There are other areas in my life where I need to learn to "let go." Leaders want to be in control and fear what will happen when (not if) they lose that control. Anyone leading a family or organization creates an unhealthy culture when they lead from fear and control. Preparation is were we begin. As leaders, it is our responsibility to see the road ahead and identify the moments in which we will have to "let go", including position of leadership! How prepared are you to "let go?"

All In!

Leadership is hard. Every decision a leader makes can either help or hurt the organization. Each decision carries significant weight  and the outcomes can carry positive or negative results that can either stall, trip up, or move the organization down the field. There are no insignificant issues or decisions as every consequence, good or bad, has meaning.

A leader who is "all in" must have a sense of calling and purpose. While some leaders cannot specifically articulate why they sacrifice so much for the organization, it is definitely there. These types of leaders are willing to give up on, or let go of, those little issues that are frivolous and don't help the organization. They have the ability to stay the course especially in the midst of adversity. 

I had the opportunity to be with some leaders who are "all in" when I visited Village of Hope in Guatemala last month. The Blocks and Uchereks have sacrificed so much in order to provide faith, family, and a future to special needs and HIV children. I encourage you to check out the links below and follow these families and their ministry. How "all in" are you? 

Village of Hope Facebook

Lifesong Guatemala (Parent Organization)

Block Family

Ucherek Family

Break It Down!

In the past month I have had the privilege to meet with some pretty cool people. One was a young gentlemen who left for Kenya, with his wife and young daughter. They are taking a 1 year assignment to assist a church. Another meeting was with two families who are currently serving in Guatemala and working diligently to start an orphanage. As I met, listened, and conversed it was evident that in both instances there was a lot of anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed with the enormity of the tasks at hand. 

They had every right to feel this way. For the young couple in Kenya they had never served on a pastoral staff prior to this trip and neither has done any kind of leadership development work. The families in Guatemala have never started an orphanage and only one of them has experience working in an orphanage for 9 months. (For the record, I am a firm believer that lack of experience DOES NOT disqualify a person from an opportunity. If that was the case I would not be where I am today.)

Changes in life, while exciting, will bring anxiety, tension, and stress. Furthermore, a lack of knowledge within the field we are entering will place a sense of fear in us that causes doubts and removes confidence in ourselves. So what advice did I give? It is critical that they breakdown the projects and goals, don't get caught up in the big picture, and to focus on a few pieces rather than the whole.

The first step is to have a clear understanding of realistic expectations from those in authority. We will typically place higher expectations on ourselves than what our bosses will place on us. Likewise, we tend to look at the big picture and try to imagine how we are going to fit or fix everything at once. 

Secondly, we must identify a time frame to accomplish our tasks. Do we have a few months? A year? Once we have established a time frame then we can start working backwards and we can identify how many projects/goals can we realistically accomplish within the designated period of time?

Third, keep your focus on two or three projects, depending on the nature of your work, in which you will have a great sense of accomplishment when you are done. The trick here, especially if you have been on the job for a while, is to keep these goals in line with what you are already doing. Don't try and go outside your job responsibilities. Doing this will only slow you down. 

Lastly, perform a weekly review to stay on top of the progress you are making towards your goals and, if necessary, adjust. Typically, we set an unrealistic timeframe to complete our projects. The more you do this the better you will get at it. This is especially true when we involve others. Many times a third party will slow your project down. It's ok. Adjust for current project and realize this fact when planning for the following year. 

The end of each August marks the end of the ministry season for our staff. We will spend the last Monday of that month in a full day staff retreat. During this retreat we will review our goals from the previous year and share our goals for the next 12 months. Following the steps above has helped me to identify 3 goals to accomplish in the next 12 months. Give them and try and tweak them to fit you!

Don't Forget the People!

There are a ton of studies out there that help us to understand more about ourselves. There is DISC, Myers-Briggs, Strengthfinders, a multitude of personality assessments, EQ assessments, and more. I am a sucker for these assessments as I am curious as to how I will test. Likewise, I love the idea of finding something out about myself that I could not previously articulate. These tests have helped to identify where I am strong as well as areas that need improvement. They communicate how I work under pressure and how I am viewed by others when under stress. These assessments are great when done with a team or family as they can show the greatest potential in working together. 

Early on I always thought of myself as being people oriented rather than task oriented. I thought of myself as someone who cares about people, looks for opportunities to connect, and has their best interest in mind. Besides, shouldn't a pastor be people focused? However, I have come to accept the fact that I have a natural tendency to be more task oriented as I have taken these assessments, made general observations, and evaluated myself. I love hanging out, helping, and connecting people to what God is doing in our communities and around the world. However, I can get drained when I do not balance my "people" time with "alone" time. I receive my energy when I am locked away in my office with a white board to process, plan, and organize my tasks and responsibilities. I am re-energized when I am driving in my car by myself or going for a run. I need that time and space to reflect, process, and think through various issues. 

Since I have a natural bent towards tasks consequently a natural byproduct can be alienating those working with me. I will average 5-7 meetings during the course of a week. These meetings are with individuals and ministry teams who I am working with or meeting for the first time. I don't necessarily like to have this many meetings each week, but it is important that I am meeting with people, updating my teams, and receiving input on projects. I have a natural tendency to move forward on projects without talking through with a team or not informing them of what we are doing. I also tend to take on tasks rather than delegate or share the responsibility and the project will take much longer to complete. Ultimately, the worse thing that can happen is that people's feelings can become hurt. Hurt feeling can happen on many different levels and can manifest in a variety of ways.

People do not forget when their feelings have been hurt. They may forgive, but not forget. They may decide to work with you again, but they will leave their guard up and not feel free to fully give themselves to the project or share their opinions and ideas. Regardless, if you are naturally bent towards task or people, don't forget its the people who drive the tasks and complete the projects. I encourage you to identify which side of the line you are on and understand the positives and negatives.